I dig up some old emails.

I think I'm fucked up. I really do.

derek jacobi

is phenomenal in the following clip, wherein he, Claudius, faces the Senate in a bid to defend his appointment as Caesar by the Praetorian Guard.



One would also do well to catch John Hurt's performance as Claudius' predecessor and nephew, Caligula.

hallelujah

- art by ochrejelly

Now I've heard there was a secret chord/that David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this -
The fourth, the fifth/the minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof/You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair/She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Well maybe there's a god above/But all I've every learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch/Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

There was a time you let me know/What's really going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you/the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

You say I took the name in vain/I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light in every word/It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah

I did my best, it wasn't much/I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong/I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah.

Hallelujah.

-- Leonard Cohen

I meet Edward.

"So, there I was, ritual knife in hand, in front of one of the four Eyptian high priests at the Natural History Museum. Facing the mummy, I then proceeded with every one of the Egyptian prayers of invocation."

"In Egyptian, of course," Edward adds firmly. "Immediately, I felt a presence. Things turned out very oddly for the next couple of weeks or so."

Faii and I are left at a slight loss for words, half-doubting, half-believing. It is not everyday when one gets treated to a first-hand account of the supernatural. Then again, it is not everyday when one meets someone like Edward.

Having read Classics at King's, he has since dabbled with period music and weaponry. He is therefore a sometime musician and somewhat accomplished fencer, which makes for excellent conversation with both me and Faii respectively. Well on his way to beginning his doctorate, despite his age, he is both spritely and most deliciously camp.

He is also a joy to talk to.

"Are you a geek?"

I am a bit surprised by this, but more surprised at myself, however, for having found his comment flattering. "No, not really, but then again, maybe," I fumble. "Perhaps. Why would you say so?"

"Well you know what a pince-nez is."

I had remarked earlier upon a handsome pair of his (they don't make them anymore - Edward). It made him look rather like Cornelius Bear.

I shrug, and laugh it off with Edward. I am unsure of how exactly that qualifies me for geekdom, but if it does, the pleasure is mine for having made an acquaintance with no finer a fellow geek.

Well met, Edward.

this is annoying.

- art by Domitille Collardey

highlights of the inauguration ball

My picks!

Shakira has a go at the harmonica. Makes for a good laugh.
Stevie Wonder and Sting deliver a definitive version of Brand New Day.
Stevie's Signed Sealed Delivered. Barry gets his grove on.

Sheer soul.

But nothing really beats the First Dance. Beyonce's golden.

And the Obamas are beautiful.

sunday morning

art by Cory Godbey

Sunday morning/praise the dawning
It's just a restless feeling by my side -
Early dawning/Sunday morning
It's just the wasted years so close behind

Watch out/the world's behind you
There's always someone around you who will call
It's nothing at all -

Sunday morning/and I'm falling
I've got a feeling I don't want to know -
Early dawning/Sunday morning
It's all the streets you crossed, not so long ago

Watch out/the world's behind you
There's always someone around you who will call
It's nothing at all

-- The Velvet Underground

I am busy.

I have started my lessons at the driving school.
I have had to make do with the small and under-equipped gym at my workplace.
I have weekly sessions of acupuncture (more on that soon) and physiotherapy.
I have a nearly-due quarterly report to compile.
I have two new understudies to train.
I have applications to fill in.
I have a body to build.
I have a mind to enrich.
I have music to make.
I have issues.

I am busy.

starman

art by Goro Fujita

Goodbye love -

Didn't know what time it was, the lights were low
I leaned back on my radio -
Some cat was layin' down, some/"Get it on rock 'n roll 'lotta soul", he said

Then the loud sound did seem to fade
Came back like a slow voice on a wave of phase
That weren't no DJ, that was hazy cosmic jive

There's a starman waiting in the sky
He'd like to come and meet us/But he thinks he'd blow our minds
There's a starman waiting in the sky
He's told us not to blow it/'Cause he knows it's all worthwhile

He told me -
"Let the children use it,
Let the children lose it,
Let all the children boogie"

I had to phone someone so I picked on you
Hey, that's far out so you heard him too
Switch on the TV/we may pick him up on channel two

Look out your window I can see his light
If we can sparkle he may land tonight
Don't tell your poppa or he'll/get us locked up in fright

There's a starman waiting in the sky
He'd like to come and meet us/But he thinks he'd blow our minds
There's a starman waiting in the sky
He's told us not to blow it/'Cause he knows it's all worthwhile

He told me -
"Let the children use it,
Let the children lose it,
Let all the children boogie."

-- David Bowie

I am distressed.

Earlier on, I saw a girl who looked just like you at CHJIMES. But she could not have been you.

Reality is perceived by my mind and not my eyes. I am sure of that.

Therein lies a dire distortion of Plato's opinion, which, to my fancy, I am borrowing out of context - that the flesh and senses are a dark glass which obscures reality and absolute truth. I have a mind which screws around with my senses. There are ghosts and ghosts of ghosts within it, and they plague me in this growing agony which I have been conscripted to. I am worried.

It is four in the morning and I can't sleep.

I hope you are well.

updates

will resume shortly.

In the meantime, enjoy this collection of aphorisms. Well, almost.

I have regrets.

Why on earth did I drag you to see Wall-E? We could have watched Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea.

I'm sure you would have liked it.